Pimp Slapped

Today on formal rounds with the attendings, I had to present a patient who has been a resident of the VA for over a month. I stumbled through my presentation semi-triumphantly, only to be hit by the pimp sessions of all pimp sessions.

I was pimped on drugs. I was pimped on procedures. I was pimped on physiology. If your wildest medical imagination could dream it up, I was pimped on it, for 20+ minutes. I could actually see my fellow M3s pleading to the attendings with their eyes to stop the brutality. But I actually thought I did decent... I mean, I knew, maybe... half of the answers....

I can remember the days of my life when I used to know all the answers, routinely make 100s on tests. Nowadays, however, knowing around 50% is something to celebrate. Oh how times have changed...

It All Comes Down to Poop

My time on General Surgery can really be summarized in one word: Poop.

Every morning I go in and see my patients, and they want to tell me about all their problems. But all I really need to know is if they have pooped. Then, depending on the patient, I might be interested in the color, quantity, or quality of said poop.

And at least a few times a week General Surgeons get pooped on. For example, during one rectal prolapse repair last week, our patient opted not to finish her colon cleansing dose of Golytely, and throughout the case we had to stop the case to clean up while she pooped on us.

So, I guess it's not hard to guess that my opinion of General Surgery might also be summarized in one word: Poop.

Life's Too Short

When I was in Italy, I spent the day at a gorgeous vineyard in Tuscany. The mansion on the hill that was once owned by the Medici family overlooked hundreds of hundreds of acres of land arranged in the perfect rows of grape vines. Here we had a wine tasting, which is really just a socially acceptable excuse to get drunk in the middle of the day. At the end of it all, I came home with many bottles of wine, but my favorite was the Malenchini Bruzzico Toscana.

Now, for three years I've been saving this bottle of wine, thinking to myself "I'll open it for a special occasion." Well, when special occasions have arisen I have either forgotten about the wine or sheepishly decided to wait for something a little bit more special. Until this week.

This week, I decided that life is too short to save wine. Wine is meant to be enjoyed amongst people you care about, or sometimes people you've just met. Moral of the story, it's meant to be enjoyed. So I popped open my bottle of Bruzzico this week, and enjoyed every sip of it with The Cutest Boy in the World. It reminded me of all the fond memories I have from my time in Florence, but, as I believe was this bottle's purpose in the world, it opened up all the possibilities of the next time I go to Italy.

Wine Tasting at Malenchini.

Beginning and End

There are a few milestones in a surgery case. First, the patient rolls back to the OR. This signifies that case is a "go." Then the time out. This is when all involved agree upon what patient, what surgery, and what site is about to be performed. Next comes the first incision. The case has officially begun. The final milestone is closing, this means the case is over.

This week, I made the first incision. I started a case. I asked the nurse for the scalpel, announced "incision" to the room, sliced, and drew blood. Then, I closed the case. I sutured the skin shut and dressed the wound. I was the last person to have my hands inside this patient.

How much I participated in between... Well, that's beside the point.