This week I was hit with an old fashioned stomach bug that rendered me worthless on the bathroom floor for the better part of 9 hours. On the brink of dying, my life was saved by a doctor working the night shift, a prescription for Zofran, and a 24hr pharmacy. Although I slept for 22 of the next 24 hours, the damage had been done. My fluid status was in dire straits. And after attempting to survive rounds, I realized that the pain in the general area of my kidneys and the fact that I had not peed for about a day was not normal. I needed fluids. And I needed them now.
So, any normal person would have gone to the ER. Oh, no... I've paid entirely too much into the MS Health Care system in the form of tuition to sit in the waiting room with the peons! I started calling in favors. This is how I ended up in a small computer room on the second floor of the hospital having a surgery intern start an IV. Despite the fact that this is not in her normal job description, she stuck my dehydrated vein like a champ. At this point of the procedure, when blood started pouring out the end of the angiocath onto my leg, is when her ignorance to actually hooking up an IV became apparent. But, 100ml later of precious life fluid on my scrubs later, I was ready. With a few liters of fluids in my bag, some IV tubing, and a whole lot of gusto, I headed home to turn my bedroom into my very own ICU.
The line worked great. Fluids flowed right in. Maybe using a floor lamp as an IV pole was a bit ghetto, but I think I get points for creativity. And not counting a 10 minute pulmonary edema scare including shortness of breath, dry cough, and chest pain, my rehydration went without a hitch. So, I am back to normal fluid volume status.
Oh yeah, take
that Montezuma....
