Makes Me Smile...

A man in Topeka , Kansas decided to write a book about Churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there.

Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read "Calls: $10,000 a minute."

Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Seattle , Dallas , St. Louis , Chicago , Milwaukee , and around the United States , he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each
pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Alabama . Upon entering a Church in Tuscaloosa he saw the usual golden telephone.

But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: .35 cents."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, "Brother Jones, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only .35 cents a call. Why?"

The preacher, smiling benignly, replied: "Son, you're in Tuscaloosa, Alabama now, home of the University of Alabama, Crimson Tide Football, The Million Dollar Band, Bob Baumhower's Wings, and Dreamland Ribs. You're in God's Country. It's a local call."

M3 Schedule

It's finally that time of year when the administration has decided that we don't have nearly enough stress and things to worry about. It's time to make our our schedule for third year.

Now, this is a very complicated process. It is not as simple as signing up for the classes you want. There are 8 pre-set schedule options that one hundred plus medical students are vieing for, and names are chosen randomly for selection order. So a strategy must be chosen wisely. Do you rank the schedules in order of the most appealing to you? Do you try to plan around an upcoming event? Or do you try to swing being on the same rotations as your friends?

Any upperclassman has a bagful of tips, tricks, and advice to offer, but I truly think my sister gave the best. She told me, "Eh, don't worry about it. It's a crapshoot. You probably won't get what you want anyway, and you'll just have to make it work." (Not a direct quote, or she'd be suing Tim Gunn for her catch phrase...)

Saving Lives

When I began medical school, I referred to any time spent doing related activities (studying, going to clinic, attending class, studying more) as "saving lives."

"Wish I could go out tonight, but I've got to go save lives."

"Yep, meeting with my preceptor this afternoon to save some lives."

The closer third year approaches, my attitude on this phrase is changing. First off, I'm not saving lives. Nowhere close. For example, yesterday in two hours with my preceptor I touched one patient. I did an eye exam on a normal 14yo AAM. Not only did I not even pretend to save that boy's life, I didn't even address his chief complaint.

Mostly though, I'm starting to see that in my contact with patients now and in my next year, saving lives is not my goal. I just don't want to kill anyone. If I actually manage to help somone, bonus, but I'm just hoping not to be the reason their heart/kidneys/lungs stop working.

So next time someone asks my what I'm doing, I am prepared to say "Trying not to kill anyone."

Pott-ah Parties

Last week The Cutest Boy in the World was introduced to the world of Muggles, Quidditch, and all things Potter when we watched the first of the series, Socerer's Stone. He is addicted. In the past four days we've watched the next three movies. And tonight, we are joining the Canizaro's to watch the final released film, The Order of the Phoenix. His Hogwarts mania doesn't end there. He is already making plans for the sixth movie release and reading the entire collection of books. I've created a monster.... A basilisk maybe? Or a Norwegian Horntail?

Revenge of the Nerd

I am a nerd. While most medical students were using last weeks as a mental and physical rest, ignoring all things medical, I went to the Our Body: The Universe Within exhibit in Mobile. This is where the proverbial "they" take real human cadavers and preserve them with polymers, allowing the public to view the inner workings of the human body.

Most visitors to the exhibit were in awe of the fact that the entire exhibit was composed of real people; I was amazed that "they" somehow managed to label the infraspinatus muscle incorrectly. Most people were grossed out by the sections of a body, showing you the relationship between the different organs; I was intrigued by the massive splenomegaly in that particular person.

In general, the exhibit was fantastic. It reaffirmed my love for medicine, the wonders of the human body, and my nerd status.

Still Breathing

Just wanted to quickly report that the Loo made it through the weather and the drugs safely. It was morbidly funny to watch her stumbling around, eyes all droopy, and barely able to lift her own head like she had had too much too drink at the office party. But this morning she seems to be coming back to normal, if not a touch groggy. Of course, I do need to sign her up for an AA meeting.

Doggie Prozac

A week or so ago it stormed in Jackson from 2:43am to 4:11am. I know this because my dog felt it was neccessary to protect me from the thunder between these said times. Well, let me say that she probably would have protected me longer, but 75mg of Benadryl finally kicked in.

According to the weather channel, it is suppose to storm this afternoon. Call me a bad mom, but I'm going to Animal Health Products this afternoon to buy some Doggie Prozac, or horse tranquilizer, whatever it takes to calm her down. So, be warned that I might be posting tomorrow that my dog has OD'ed.