The Grass is Greener on the Other Side

I'm done. I have made it to the other side of the Step 1. And it's a lot like going through Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

First there is anger. Yesterday I was pissed off at the exam, frustrated at the things I didn't study and even more at the things I did and weren't on the exam. I found myself taking this anger out on random people and things, as just a way to relieve some of the pressure that had been building up for the last month.

Then, I went numb. My brain just quit working. Last night I couldn't figure out how to order a pizza, pick a beer, or even remember my birthday at dinner with the girls. It was like I just completely shut down.

Next were the flashbacks. I had dreams about the questions on the exam last night. And, where I couldn't remember more than 2 specific questions when I walked out yesterday, today they have been coming back to me like a flood. Questions I got right, or got wrong, or even worse, changed from right to wrong.

If this pattern keeps on, next up should be either psychosis or recovery. I'm hoping for the latter. I'm thinking I might clean my house today, run a few fun errands, then go out to dinner with The Cutest Boy in the World. No more worrying, no more studying... At least for the next week.

And I Shall Do No More.

360 Clinical Vignettes...

250 Flashcards...

320 pages of First Aid...

26 pages of hand written notes...

314 pages of other review books...

2190 Qbank questions...


That might look like a lot of studying to you, but to me it looks like a poor excuse for trying to prepare myself for the Step. But, it's all I've got. I'm done. I'm out like the fat kid in dodgeball.

So, I'm taking the night off to watch movies and tv, and tomorrow I shall put on my bravest face as I go to face the music.

Call 911!

What is the absolute worst thing that could happen to an M2 only 36 hours before taking the Step?

Power outage? No, I could embrace the ways of the Amish and study by candlelight.

The entire city of Jackson being out of coffee? Bad, yes, but I could switch to Amp or Vault or cocaine.

Being hit by a car? Actually that might be nice. Maybe the USMLE gods would have mercy and let me post-pone taking the exam.

No, the worst possible thing to happen to an M2...

QBank is down!!

Fourth Quarter

At the beginning of the fourth quarter of every Alabama game, all the Crimson Tide fans hold up four fingers. This, probably a tradition set forth by The Bear himself, is meant to signify, "We own the fourth quarter." It is a rally. There is plenty of ball game left to come back from behind or stomp the opponents farther into the ground.

I have four days left before the Step. Although I am constantly on the verge of tears induced by stress, feelings of imminent failure, or intimidation by the vast amount of knowledge I am being tested on, I have decided to take a deep breath, and boldly hold up four fingers. I own these last four days.


"If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride - and never quit, you'll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards." -- Paul "Bear" Bryant

Six Days

God created the entire universe in six days. Light, dirt, water, birds, humans, the shiny slime slugs leave behind... everything. So it should be chump change for Him to help me learn the entirety of man's medical knowledge to date in the same amount of time. Here's praying...

A Letter to Microsoft

Mr. Gates,

I realize that your engineers are probably all working on the disaster that was Microsoft Vista, but when you get a moment, I have a request. Microsoft Internet Explorer has a feature called "Favorites" and I would like you to please change this. I believe this is a misnomer. You see, everytime I have to go to that tab to go to Qbank to practice more USMLE Step 1 questions, and inevitably be reminded that I might forever be an M2, I cringe at the thought of calling this website a "favorite." It is far from it. It is a nemesis. A bane in my very existence, albeit only for another week (fingers crossed.) In conclusion, I would like to recommend the name "Frequently Visited Websites" as an alternative. Thank you.

Sincerely,
A Stressed Out Medical Student

Addition to the Family... Almost

During a leisurely day at Dogwood with The Cutest Boy in the World this weekend, we wandered over to the bank parking lot to see the puppies for sale. This was a dangerous undertaking to begin with in light of my history of impulse puppy buys (Heidi "Trailer Trash" Ho.) But, it turned out I wasn't the one we needed to be worried about...

The Cutest Boy in the World has always wanted a blue Great Dane, and as luck would have it, someone was selling blue Great Dane puppies. Oh, he held one, loved on it, and got lots of puppy breath kisses from it. Had he not have been leaving for two months, I could almost guarantee that the Loo would have a little sister right now. Whew... That was a close call...

Back to C-Town

In one of those strange freaks of medical school, I have found out my schedule for September before finding out June. But, as luck would have it, I am returning to my old stomping grounds for my 4wk Family Medicine Preceptorship. I can almost guarantee that this trip down Memory Lane will probably just remind me why I'm glad I left. Even if I do only live 30min away, it's basically like another area code compared to the Twilight Zone that is Clinton, Mississippi.

News Flash

The Miller clan, including the annexed portion of the Canizaro clan (e.g., David), met this weekend to celebrate family, motorcycles, and food. In light of the CEOs of Miller Inc relocating the home office to Chattanooga, TN, this was the last of such gatherings in the stinky state of Louisiana. Also, owing to the upcoming loss of free time of the youngest Miller and Ashley's current shortage, time coordination will also become more difficult. Therefore, no expense was spared to make this past weekend fun for all...

David opted to try the once popular jiggle method of weight loss by riding his motorcycle 5 hours down to Zachary and back. Sources say he reports a two inch loss from his ass, although statistics have not been released whether or not this results from the 5 hours of compression or the vibration.

Popscicle made Miller family history by not being called into work for the first time during a Canizaro visit. Of course, after turning in his resignation and missing a 10 o'clock phone call, Entergy might just finally be getting the hint.

Ashley has embraced her inner Pam and was seen purchasing multiple leather garments at the local Harley store. With this large of a cowhide purchase, insiders are questioning whether she has actually taken to moonlighting as a dominatrix.

Numpsey still waits patiently for her Mother's Day gifts. Sources say she has been seen peering out the front door windows waiting for the UPS or mail man to bring her the very large box she knows she is getting.

In unrelated news, Al Copeland, the owner of Copeland's Cheesecake Bistro has recently purchased a private yacht. Although no official statements have been made concerning this extravagant purchase, he is reported to have claimed to have had "a very profitable weekend."

Keys to a Good Residency

At the ACOG conference (yes we actually did go to meetings), program directors of various residency programs gave tips on how to stand out as an applicant. Here are the top five, and I'm not making any of these up for entertainment sake.

1. Find a mentor.
This presents a problem seeing as I have no clue what I want to do. Plus, its not exactly like I'm a baby bird in a Dr. Suess book that can go around asking every moving being in a long white coat, "Will you be my mentor??"

2. Have overcome a debilitating personal struggle.
Examples were given such as "having a dead parent," "losing a limb," or "surviving cancer." I feel rude asking one of my parents to keel over to help my chances of having a good Match Day. And, I've become rather attached to my limbs. But, I do have a habit of not putting on sunscreen so maybe all those years of worshipping the sun gods will pay off on the cancer front in the next year.

3. Be a single parent.
I guess this one is do-able. I'm 24, which means in Mississippi I'm borderline advanced maternal age. Even if I could skip the whole 9 month gestation thing and pop out a kid today, he/she'd still be the one with the "old mom."

4. Climb Mount Kilimanjaro.
Completely disregarding the fact that I get winded climbing three flights of stairs to my classroom, I'm not exactly sure when I'm expected to squeeze this into my schedule when I'll soon only be getting one day off every seven days. I mean, by my calculations, even if I took a plane to Tanzania, a helicopter to ten feet from the zenith, climbed to the top, slid back down those ten feet, took a helicopter down, and flew back, I'd still be late for rounds the next morning.

5. Be a normal human being.
Now this one I think I could maybe manage. If for a few hours during interviews, I can hide the fact that medical school has brought out my inner control freak, has left me so stressed out I find myself crying when I can't find a parking spot, and has reduced my sense of humor to using such one liners as "I'm so hungry I could go Leish-Neihn on my hand." I am worried however that for some people in my class this one is just as unattainable as the Mount Kilimanjaro thing.

Howdy Gyneroos!

The last few days of my life have been filled with speculums, contraceptives, and hurricanes.

Yep, I've been at the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists Annual Clinical Meeting in N'awlins, Louisiana. Needless to say, when you check cervixes all day, you know how to have a good time after work. Good times were had by all.

Viva Las 'Dega

Talladega has come and gone, but the pictures will last forever. (The memories might have already been partly washed away by the beer.)

The homestead. Two campers united under Old Glory and Hendrick Motorsports.

Our half of slice of heaven. This was basically the same position we stayed in all weekend, although most of time our hands were full of beer, our mouths were full of food, and discussing the status of the black water.

They make such a sweet couple.

"Fat man in a little car." We were afraid we were going to have to get the Jaws of Life.

The Cutest Boy in the World, looking oddly out of place in his pink Polo, but I guess it brought him luck because the fool picked the winning driver, Kyle Bush.

Numpsey and Popsicle enjoying a day at the races.

Selective Hearing

My dog will go crazy at 3am because a cat has wandered into our front yard...
But she will watch in silence as a squirrel eases its way closer and closer to the open back door.

She will protest any loud vehicle on our street, the next street, or even the interstate...
Yet she will have no idea that a car has pulled into our own driveway.

The Loo will bark like somone is literally breaking into our house when the mailman steps on our front step to put my countless AMA fliers and magazines in the mailbox...
But she won't even move from her spot in the sun when The Cutest Boy in the World comes over until he actually rings the doorbell.